♪ ♫I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in♪ ♫

If i'm gonna hurt for you, make sure you're worth the pain.

So random.

x

♫ ♪ Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice ♫ ♪

Creed - on replay.

I wonder how many times I felt despondent this week.

With Jean away for almost 2 weeks, my workload just increased considerably and even I feel like I'm breaking under the pressure of dealing with clients, the activations, the events, the coordination - on top of my own regular PM & DM work.

Jo: Are you ready to head the DM team?

Me: Huh?

Jo: I think you are ready, Cara.

Me: I don't want to talk about that now please.

I can't believe I just flat out told my boss that but I think enough is enough - for now.

Let me get my life back on track and look out for myself first.

x

♪ ♫"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"♪ ♫
 

Love the song but not feeling much like titanium today.

In fact, its another one of those bloody Murphy's Law days.

Dropped my Iphone face down and smashed the glass at 11am and had to make do with the vicious glass bits slicing into my finger everytime I did the unlock phone bit.Thank God hubs came up with a really quick solution and a person who could repair it on the same day - at a decent enough cost.

Got trapped in a long winded meeting and having to face the issues for the brand alone since "J" decided to bail on me for an event- and now I have a backlog of work that doesn't seem to be disappearing anytime soon.

Went out for the most miserable lunch, by which I had completely lost my appetite, ate my meds and ended up with the worst case of stomach acidity.

When I got back from lunch, my favorite colleague and confidante told me she was tendering her resignation - in 2 days- and she would be serving the 2 months notice and she'll miss me.

Attempted to apply for 2 weeks leave in September to fly to Europe and all I got was a noncommital answer from my boss about "High Volume weeks " and that we should "have a talk tomorrow".

And then the very person I wanted to talk to about it all was caught up in a whirlwind of something called INSENSITIVITY!

Sigh.

And throughout my Monday misery, all my colleagues could tell me was that I was so cool and nothing gets to me.

I feel like screaming.

Post work -all that plastic burning + heart to heart talks with my sis - which usually does wonders for me - did absolutely nothing for my soul tonight.

I keep telling myself, its the same old frustrating feeling but I don't know how I always get caught up in situations like this.

230am.

 I'm sitting here, trying to make a dent in the mountain of work, and all I can think about is having to be at work in 6 hours time, not finishing my work in time and still having to leave early to help out with an event that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Help.

x